thegirlwiththeredbow:

shadesofnerdness:


The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch 
published: May 1, 1980
““Elizabeth was a beautiful princess. She lived in a castle and had expensive princess clothes. She was going to marry a prince named Ronald.
Unfortunately, a dragon smashed her castle, burned all her clothes with his fiery breath, and carried off Prince Ronald.
Elizabeth decided to chase the dragon and get Ronald back. She looked everywhere for something to wear, but the only thing she could find that was not burnt was a paper bag. So she put on the paper bag and followed the dragon. He was easy to follow, because he left a trail of burnt forests and horses’ bones.
Finally, Elizabeth came to a cave with a large door that had a huge knocker on it. She took hold of the knocker and banged on the door. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Well, a princess! I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” He slammed the door so fast that Elizabeth almost got her nose caught.
Elizabeth grabbed the knocker and banged on the door again. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Go away. I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” “Wait,” shouted Elizabeth. “Is it true that you are the smartest and fiercest dragon in the whole world?” “Yes,” said the dragon.
“Is it true,” said Elizabeth, “that you can burn up ten forests with your fiery breath?” “Oh, yes,” said the dragon, and he took a huge, deep breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up fifty forests.
“Fantastic,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up one hundred forests. “Magnificent,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath, but this time nothing came out. The dragon didn’t even have enough fire left to cook a meatball.
Elizabeth said, “Dragon, is it true that you can fly around the world in just ten seconds?” “Why, yes,” said the dragon, and jumped up and flew all the way around the world in just ten seconds. He was very tired when he got back, but Elizabeth shouted, “Fantastic, do it again!”
So the dragon jumped up and flew around the whole world in just twenty seconds. When he got back he was too tired to talk, and he lay down and went straight to sleep.
Elizabeth whispered, very softly, “Hey, dragon.” The dragon didn’t move at all. She lifted up the dragon’s ear and put her head right inside. She shouted as loud as she could, “Hey dragon!” The dragon was so tired he didn’t even move.
Elizabeth walked right over the dragon and opened the door to the cave. There was Prince Ronald. He looked at her and said, “Elizabeth, you are a mess! You smell like ashes, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag. Come back when you are dressed like a real princess.”
“Ronald,” said Elizabeth, “your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat. You look like a real prince, but you are a bum.”
They didn’t get married after all.””

"This story is a success because it is real. There are no princes but there are a lot of bums, and you don’t want to marry one." 
-Robert Munch 

Haha I read this when I was a kid and it’s probably one of the most memorable picture books for me

I actually laughed out loud. what a plot twist.

thegirlwiththeredbow:

shadesofnerdness:

The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch 

published: May 1, 1980

““Elizabeth was a beautiful princess. She lived in a castle and had expensive princess clothes. She was going to marry a prince named Ronald.

Unfortunately, a dragon smashed her castle, burned all her clothes with his fiery breath, and carried off Prince Ronald.

Elizabeth decided to chase the dragon and get Ronald back. She looked everywhere for something to wear, but the only thing she could find that was not burnt was a paper bag. So she put on the paper bag and followed the dragon. He was easy to follow, because he left a trail of burnt forests and horses’ bones.

Finally, Elizabeth came to a cave with a large door that had a huge knocker on it. She took hold of the knocker and banged on the door. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Well, a princess! I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” He slammed the door so fast that Elizabeth almost got her nose caught.

Elizabeth grabbed the knocker and banged on the door again. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Go away. I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” “Wait,” shouted Elizabeth. “Is it true that you are the smartest and fiercest dragon in the whole world?” “Yes,” said the dragon.

“Is it true,” said Elizabeth, “that you can burn up ten forests with your fiery breath?” “Oh, yes,” said the dragon, and he took a huge, deep breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up fifty forests.

“Fantastic,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up one hundred forests. “Magnificent,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath, but this time nothing came out. The dragon didn’t even have enough fire left to cook a meatball.

Elizabeth said, “Dragon, is it true that you can fly around the world in just ten seconds?” “Why, yes,” said the dragon, and jumped up and flew all the way around the world in just ten seconds. He was very tired when he got back, but Elizabeth shouted, “Fantastic, do it again!”

So the dragon jumped up and flew around the whole world in just twenty seconds. When he got back he was too tired to talk, and he lay down and went straight to sleep.

Elizabeth whispered, very softly, “Hey, dragon.” The dragon didn’t move at all. She lifted up the dragon’s ear and put her head right inside. She shouted as loud as she could, “Hey dragon!” The dragon was so tired he didn’t even move.

Elizabeth walked right over the dragon and opened the door to the cave. There was Prince Ronald. He looked at her and said, “Elizabeth, you are a mess! You smell like ashes, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag. Come back when you are dressed like a real princess.”

“Ronald,” said Elizabeth, “your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat. You look like a real prince, but you are a bum.”

They didn’t get married after all.””

"This story is a success because it is real. There are no princes but there are a lot of bums, and you don’t want to marry one."

-Robert Munch 

Haha I read this when I was a kid and it’s probably one of the most memorable picture books for me


I actually laughed out loud. what a plot twist.

jake-the-fox:

haiku-oezu:

sjwstupidity:

i-was-a-teenage-anarchist:

zerotide:

neurotic-barista:

fandomsandfeminism:

le-sob:

Really? Men want to make all these weak ass “women should be in the kitchen jokes” and then they want to pull shit like this Fuck u top chef Canada and ur sexist bullshit

A woman’s place is in the kitchen, unless we suddenly want to act like being in the kitchen is respectable difficult work. Then women need to get the fuck out, right? 

This is a promo ad for a “battle of the sexes”. There’s a promotional poster for the women’s side too, featuring the same setup, with the words “Is that all you got, boys?” But of course, OP didn’t take a picture of that one.

For reference:


Oh hey look! Context.

Jesus.

L E L

This whole site is filled with fucking idiots.

jake-the-fox:

haiku-oezu:

sjwstupidity:

i-was-a-teenage-anarchist:

zerotide:

neurotic-barista:

fandomsandfeminism:

le-sob:

Really? Men want to make all these weak ass “women should be in the kitchen jokes” and then they want to pull shit like this
Fuck u top chef Canada and ur sexist bullshit

A woman’s place is in the kitchen, unless we suddenly want to act like being in the kitchen is respectable difficult work. Then women need to get the fuck out, right? 

This is a promo ad for a “battle of the sexes”. There’s a promotional poster for the women’s side too, featuring the same setup, with the words “Is that all you got, boys?” But of course, OP didn’t take a picture of that one.

For reference:

Oh hey look! Context.

Jesus.

L E L

This whole site is filled with fucking idiots.

Reblogged from Memewhore

tyleroakley:

"Gotta Catch Applause"

Gaga / Pokemon Mashup

Reblogged from (@tyleroakley)
fictioninchains:

jayneausten:

lioar:

hookersorcake:

quiyst:

beefranck:

transgalacticwanderer:

electricalivia:

sageruto:

rabbitsnwolves:

Well, he was sorta asking for it, dressing in such flammable clothing.

if he didnt want to get set on fire, he should have stayed indoors

He was probably drinking that night, alcohol makes you susceptible to fire.

If it’s a legitimate inferno, the male body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

God I love you, Internet.

Why didn’t he stop, drop, and roll? He should have stopped, dropped, and rolled. He must have secretly wanted it.

If you read the article, eyewitnesses said the man had purchased a lighter earlier that same day. Dude probably set himself on fire and lied about it. Typical.

He should have relaxed and enjoyed it. After all it was just a bit of kindling cuddling

We need to start educating people about wearing fire-safe clothing and carrying extinguishers with them at all times. For their own safety.

Everytime i see this, the comments keep getting better

fictioninchains:

jayneausten:

lioar:

hookersorcake:

quiyst:

beefranck:

transgalacticwanderer:

electricalivia:

sageruto:

rabbitsnwolves:

Well, he was sorta asking for it, dressing in such flammable clothing.

if he didnt want to get set on fire, he should have stayed indoors

He was probably drinking that night, alcohol makes you susceptible to fire.

If it’s a legitimate inferno, the male body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

God I love you, Internet.

Why didn’t he stop, drop, and roll? He should have stopped, dropped, and rolled. He must have secretly wanted it.

If you read the article, eyewitnesses said the man had purchased a lighter earlier that same day. Dude probably set himself on fire and lied about it. Typical.

He should have relaxed and enjoyed it. After all it was just a bit of kindling cuddling

We need to start educating people about wearing fire-safe clothing and carrying extinguishers with them at all times. For their own safety.

Everytime i see this, the comments keep getting better

Reblogged from So Relatable

ammit420:

whenever i buy new clothes i take them home and im just like yo what the fuck did i wear before i had this

Reblogged from Lame-o-licious

lvl1-corpse:

lana del rey

image

lana del gay

image

LOL

LOL

Fav.

Reblogged from Sammantha